lyndseydarcangelo.com
Your Subtitle text
Poetry, Columns & Blogs
"I write to find out what I'm talking about."
~ Edward Albee
Blogging
I’m basically a tomboy who never grew out of my love for sports, which is probably a good thing since I blog for —
GirlsDigSports.com
I’m a feisty fan, meaning I never back down from a good argument involving anything sports-related. Drop by and pick a fight with me! I promise I’ll be a good girl!
I’m basically a tomboy who never grew out of my love for sports, which is probably a good thing since I blog for —
GirlsDigSports.com
I’m a feisty fan, meaning I never back down from a good argument involving anything sports-related. Drop by and pick a fight with me! I promise I’ll be a good girl!
Also:
Check me out on Facebook!
Check me out on Facebook!
Poetry
I think that poetry is the greatest form of expression. Sometimes I find it challenging and sometimes I find it so easy. In both cases, I often wonder if I was able to get my point across successfully.
Readers often interpret poetry in countless ways, which exposes the beauty of this timeless craft.
Words can mean so many different things to so many different people.
Below, I've included some poems from various periods of my life. Each one holds a special place in my heart.
Healing
Let’s not beat around the bush,
so to speak.
I’m weak.
Heart open, mind bleak.
Thoughts reel. So real.
It’s impossible to hide how I feel.
I wear my heart on my sleeve
On my face.
I’ve never tried to deceive
Or pull an about face.
Don’t think I ever could
Ever would.
Want to?
Sometimes I do.
Sometimes it helps, to relieve in itself
The pain.
When I see the sun
I hope for rain.
Then maybe I could feel clean again.
Then maybe I could breathe again.
Then maybe I could eat again.
I may be stuck at the moment …
But it’s just a moment.
A week from now I’ll laugh
At my dramatic, erratic, static feelings.
And I’ll think why?
Why all the tears, fears and misconceptions?
I guess that happens when I lose direction
Or fall off my path.
Somewhere, deep inside my hollow stomach
I know I’ll find
Courage, strength, and peace of mind
And put my faith
In time.
Time heals everything …
at least that’s what they tell me.
Resurrecting A Dream
Eighty-four, knees weak, arms sore
Sat in a chair, staring
Wondering when it began
When exactly had he stopped caring?
His brow creased, mind recalled
A love for singing sweetly
Bringing dancing feet to meet the beat
A dream that somehow ceased to be
His voice once pure and sharp
Tickled the ears of the congregation
Pickled by his determination
His father disapproved his art
Jaded, soul stifled, feathers ruffled
His dream faded, lost in the shuffle
Attention to his studies hardened
Gardened condescension for his father
Time climbed, years disappeared
Argued the law in front of a judge
Saw money roll in, prosecuted crime
Inside him grew a tiny grudge
Held against those who had decided
Confided in him, their dreams
And chose to follow their desire
As he was supposed to have done
Regret saddened, belly fattened
Hair receded in the mirror
A reflection maddened his stare
How had life gotten so unfair?
Money, family, should be happy
Could have traveled another path
Pulled his wife aside, said, “honey”
“I think this marriage has unraveled at last.”
Heart broken, words unspoken
Spent life alone, uninspired
Tired of the law, soon fired
Moved on from the place he called home
Now he sat, spent days reading
Felt old, out of touch, in a haze
Awoke one morning, told himself
“I’m much to young to be in mourning”
Crept along the sidewalk, cane in hand
Stood on the corner of the street
Belted a song, clapped the beat
People swept by, tossed bills at his feet
Day after day, hour after hour
His voice danced along the breeze
No longer sour at his life choice
He took a chance, followed a dream
Joyful faces, smiles galore
People often wondered his story
Took many ways, many miles
For him to arrive at this place of glory
A local legend, they deemed
Famous for his vocal styling
An old man so gracious and beguiling
Never too old to realize a dream
This Is Me
Seagulls caw, cackle loudly
Breeze blows sand softly
Time ticks along the edge of the shore
I dip ankle deep
Rough rocks beneath my feet
The sky is clear, calm
Any fear once felt
breaks like the waves against the docks
Split in two then fade
I watch this as I wade
further up, to the knees
Icy cold tickles
giving rise to the hair on my arm
A shiver, then an embrace
Filled with fresh new feeling
A breath of something new
Reflection in the water
Shielding my eyes from the sunlight
"This is Me" I shout
Then splash away a smile
I haven't seen in quite some time
Bathing in new blessings
Happy just to be
Oh loving laughter escapes lips
This is me
The Woman In Me
Woman without the man
Expresses who I am
The woman in me
The true identity
In which I see
All that I can be
The simplicity of it all
Lies with in
The W stands for Will
Possessing strength and skill
A yearning to succeed
Hungry ambitions to feed
Conquering all inner fears
Courageous, despite the tears
Never slowing, ever growing
The Will lies with in
The O stands for Out
Like water pouring from its spout
Flowing forcefully from within
Bringing forth a confident grin
A charisma to my walk
Articulation when I talk
Slowly possessing,
ever expressing
The O lies with in
Woman without the man
Reveals who I truly am
I fulfill my own sensations
Beyond all other expectations
Without approval or supervision
I have come to my own decision
The simplicity of it all
Lies with in me
To Be OUT
Release.
Relief from my shoulders.
This boulder that I was able to push aside,
Leaving me stable, with the sensation
That I have nothing to hide.
Freedom.
Free at last.
Looking past the fear in my eyes,
Beyond the tears, without hesitation
I see clear skies.
Pride.
Raising my head high.
The shallow dread I left behind,
I looked inside and saw myself.
I believe in me.
Courage.
Having the strength to stand.
You gave me your hand without thought,
With this gesture you taught,
a life long lesson
I am normal after all.
Open
My world exists, for you to step in.
Beyond my eyes, behind my grin,
lies the untouchable.
The person that I hide,
but now I am willing, to let you inside.
My unspoken thoughts, I want you to hear.
All of me, My dreams and my fears.
No secrets kept.
No drama untold.
Read my every page
and let the story unfold,
till all that is left when you look in my eyes,
is the freedom of nonexistent lies.
Breathe me in, within you I will thrive
and know what it means, to feel truly alive.
First Time
Darkness looms
I cannot see
I feel your breath upon my skin
Sparking a nervous warmth
I reach for you
Sliding my palm across your cheek
So softly, afraid that you?ll break
Whispers reach my insides
Pulling them into knots
My flesh trembles
With each caress
Until your lips find mine
Timid at first touch
Growing hungry with each kiss
My mind races
No clear thoughts, just dizziness
Into you I slowly melt
White Canvas
When I catch a hint of you
I see your face in my mind
So clearly, eyes that penetrate
"Can you see me?"
Am I just a faded picture
A watercolor that has gotten wet
All of the colors running together
In an unrecognizable shade
Words to express my emotions
Escape my every whim
A song without a melody
A rose without its pedals
"I am incomplete."
My heart feels heavy
Weighing down my entire soul
Making every step a journey
Making every smile a chore
"No more thoughts."
I close my eyes ion frustrations
Until I can no longer see your face
Until there is nothing left
But a plain white canvas
Simplicity
A force inside pounds with fury
Could it be my heart
That echoes inside in my chest
With each pulsating beat
A tremor shakes violently
Could it be entangled nerves
That causes each limb to tingle
In an uncontrollable manner
A bead of moisture forms at my brow
Could it be my inhibition
That causes one salty drop
To roll silently down my cheek
A seductive warmth calms me
Could it be your soft lips
That sends a hurricane of feelings
To spin out of my control
It seems so strange, yet so familiar
It seems so conflicting, yet so agreeable
It is what I wanted, yet didn't recognize
It is nothing more than your simple kiss
Niagara's Seduction
Rushing, rolling currents fall
From the lofty cliff into a pool below
They dance feverishly with each other
My eyes fall hypnotized by the
Unbridled flood of water
Colliding with immovable stones
The seductive sound of chaotic currents
Sing inside my body causing
Every limb to tingle incessantly
Light beads of mist
sweep across my face
Leaving behind
the slightest sense of moisture
I close my eyes in exhilaration
Mother May I?
She tied my hair in ribbons
I untied them and my hair ran wild
She forced a cotton shirt over my head
I took it off and basked naked in the sun
She remembered days of girlie pom-poms
I dribbled a ball aggressively down the court
She often wondered who I was inside
I boasted that I was her only daughter
She cringed at my defiance
I cringed at her reluctance
Yet, somehow we connected
Through years of change when I finally
Wore a dress
She accepted our fate
I accepted our gender
We found a common strand
Which wove a mother and daughter
From two different textures
We knitted a quilt that I now use
When I get cold
Angel
I gazed solemnly into the endless
Blue sky
The colors mixed like a painting
Just before dawn
A breeze blew past me,
causing me to sigh
I suddenly saw your face above me,
An image as real as my beating heart
My body shivered,
disbelieving what I saw.
As the clouds around you began to part
The sun appeared within your eyes
As you spoke it began to rain
I embraced the downpour from the skies
Each drop sank into my skin
Relieving all the pain
"Although I am gone," you whispered
loud and clear
"Please understand
I will always be near."
First Impressions
Through a sea of unfamiliar faces
I walk alone
My glances fall on nothing
Is this to be my home?
Being a piece of the puzzle
I somehow fit my place
Similar feelings expressed
Fill up the empty space
To adjust is seemingly hard
To submit is always allowed
Yet . . . I do not give in
I merely blend with the crowd
Confusion
This woman's work
Love starts the craft
And I cannot help it
All the things I feel, I cannot control
All the things I want, do not exist
Not for me . . .
All the things I feel disappear, fade
Like a cycle they return, only to penetrate
And remind me of things I can never have
Or hope to feel
I will always wonder
And never accept where I want to belong
This is me, expressing all that I am
But never having the chance to live it
Instead, I will shove it down
Until it causes me to want to breathe
Until it causes me to scream
Until all I have left is a mumble of words
That I once longed to say out loud
to no one
Columns
I have opinions on a variety of things (as most people often do).
Once a month, I voice these opinions in a personal column for a gay/lesbian monthly magazine based in Buffalo, New York. You can read this column below as well as a fitness column that I write bi-monthly for The Buffalo News Health Quarterly called, "Fitness 101."
Once a month, I voice these opinions in a personal column for a gay/lesbian monthly magazine based in Buffalo, New York. You can read this column below as well as a fitness column that I write bi-monthly for The Buffalo News Health Quarterly called, "Fitness 101."
August 2008 Column
For better or worse
I have to say that I’ve been quite lucky over the years. I have yet to encounter any negativity or potentially harmful situation regarding my sexuality. I’ve had nothing but positive experiences with family, friends and people I’ve met since coming out.
Maybe it’s a reflection of the kind of people I choose to surround myself or maybe it’s a product of my environment. Maybe I’ve just been blessed. I don’t know. What I do know is that hatred and violence against gays still exists and that discrimination is still prevalent in our society.
But has it gotten even worse? I recently read a poll on 365gay.com that asked this very same question. And my answer is this: I think it’s stayed the same.
While incidents are spread all throughout the news, there are still just as many that receive little to no attention at all. Years ago I think the violence was much of the same. It just seems worse now because these kinds of brutal acts are finally being reported. Whether it’s worse or not really isn’t the question however. The question should be when is it going to stop?
Recently, a man walked into a Tennessee Unitarian church and began shooting at people. That right, I said a church. He walked in with a 12-guage shotgun hidden in a guitar case and opened fire during a children’s performance of “Annie.” That’s right, I said a children’s performance.
Two people have died and more than a dozen other people were injured. For what? It seems that Jim Adkisson, 58, was angry at the fact that he couldn’t find a job and had a deep-seated hatred for liberals. You’d think Mr. Adkisson would be a little peeved at the current administration for his lack of employment, but no … in fitting conservative fashion he decides to blame all the liberals instead.
How do I even being to attempt to understand this logic? That’s just it — I can’t. There’s no justifiable explanation here. For all of the acts of violence against gays, there never is. I could drive myself insane trying to understand just where the kinds of people who commit these heinous acts are coming from.
Thankfully, no children were harmed in the incident. But what about Lawrence King? Remember him? He was a child who was shot in school because a fellow student didn’t like the fact that he was different, that he was gay.
I know there were other incidents that happened this year, but these two are still fresh in my mind. The fact that a man can walk into a church and just start shooting still boggles my mind. Is nothing safe anymore?
Violence has gotten worse across the board for all people. With the accessibility of guns these days it’s feasible that you can get shot in any public venue, from churches to schools to shopping malls. When you stop and think about it you realize how frightening of a concept it really is. You would think, with all the progress being made, that we are moving toward becoming a more accepting and loving society. But incidents such as these always make me scratch my head and wonder if a violence-free existence is even possible.
One thing is certain, now that we gays have had a taste of acceptance and the freedom to express ourselves openly there is no way we’re going back in the closet. We are here to stay, in the face of violence, for better or worse.
Either way, I’m hoping for better.
